Saturday, February 16, 2008

UWF vs arguments

I'VE been to two local shows so far this year and they've been as different as chalk and cheese.

First up was UWF at Merrylands RSL on January 6. Christ, the wrestling was ordinary.

Some of the UWF cruiserweights - who I have a lot of time for - didn't gel well with outsiders like The Captain and Mike Vandal. I'm sure that was one of the reasons why Vandal got his face smashed in accidentally by Mikey Lord in their bout. It wasn't Mikey's fault - the pair just didn't click in the ring.

And there are too many fucking valets and minders and managers and hangers-on. Hey, it's great the young guys can use their mates on the show, but COME ON. Adam Lord's "security" are smaller than him. It's laughable. Unless it's supposed to be a joke - I sure didn't get it.

Grynder & Viktor "Crusher" Volkov are big, lumbering, inexperienced (especially Volkov) and shouldn't be holding the tag belts. But, Jesus wept! They're a million times better than the previous tag team champs, CJ Irwin and Big Phil Picasso. Phil's a great entertainer, but when it's up to HIM to carry the team, then you know you're in trouble. Col's a nice guy but he's the shittest wrestler in Australia and, quite possibly, the world. He can't do a single move or hold correctly. Just godawful in every aspect.

And UWF may well employ the most untalented, annoying ring announcer/commentator in the biz today, Steve Sims. Steve, you're a racist, obnoxious cocksucker. And that's all I have to say about him.

All in all, this card disappointed me greatly. There's some real talent on the UWF roster but they're being misused, I feel. And the younger guys need to work with more guys who don't train with them, just so they can grow and develop as workers.

As for Col and Steve, the sooner both of them disappear from the ring, the better.

UWF "Hold Nothing Back" (Merrylands RSL - 80): Amy Campbell b Natalie Garcia, Adam Lord (w/- Kristy Steele and Papi Chulo & Mr. Brown of Adam Lord Security) b The Captain, Mikey Lord b Mike Vandal (w/- Matt Wolf) - count out, Cruiserweight Title - Alex Rudka (c) b Luke Miller, Morbid b Matt Wolf (w/- Gene Knight), Greg Stekker b MH Cydell, Tag Team Title - Grynder & Viktor "Crusher" Volkov b CJ Irwin & Phil Picasso

Savannah Summers works on Madison's arm

ANYWAY, the PWA card on February 9 was completely different. The company has one of the deepest rosters in Australia and there wasn't a bad match on the night. The three-way bout with Japan's Shadow Phoenix going over Pyro, the women's tag match (featuring an awesome out-of-the-ring bump by Savannah second cousin, by the way) and great individual performances by the likes of Blakestone, Bishop Sommers, etc, made this a top night of in-ring action.

I also like the fact that PWA brings in some great interstate and overseas talent: Mimic, Sorrow and Savannah from SA, gorgeous tattooed Sway from Queensland (I had no idea she was a contestant in the first season of Australia's Next Top Model), Pyro from Victoria, Shadow Phoenix from Japan and Esteban Molina from the USA. Top-notch stuff, PWA. Well done.

Personally, either Bishop vs Mikey or the three-way should've been the main event. I don't think there's one person at the show who didn't believe Cross vs O'Shae would've been an awesome 25-26 minute straight match. But having it as five-minute rounds killed the momentum. The crowd was into the bout on occasions but every time the crowd rose thanks to the action, the bell would sound to end the round and the crowd would deflate. The ending was very flat, too. The guys were great, but the A1GP concept needs definite tweaking, in my opinion.

Finally, I liked the Jesse v Madison build (an excellent brawl) but thought the Troy vs Eagles build was a bit underwhelming (the run-in DQ ending in Troy's match was a bit lame). Maybe an Eagles promo would've pushed the angle further (or maybe a Troy run-in after the three-way).

Also, I still have a problem with a babyface (either Mikey or O'Shae) coming to ringside with two mates against the dreaded heel. It kills the heel-vs-face dynamic. Why should we fear for the face's wellbeing when we know he has two allies outside the ring? Ring psychology anyone?

Booking missteps aside, right now, PWA is the best company in Sydney and probably one of the top three in Australia.

I don't know where UWF stands but I suspect it's a lot, lot lower on the pecking order.

PWA "Wrestlepalooza" (Minto Community Hall - 130): PWA heavyweight title: Mikey Broderick (c) b Bishop Sommers, PWA Victoria title "Lightning" Luke Watts b Troy the Boy - DQ, Blakestone defeated Jorge Del Homos, Mimic & Sorrow b Fitch Valentine & Esteban Molina, Fumanchu b Mike Valuable & Ash Riot & Mark Davis, Madison & Sway b Jessie McKay & Savannah Summers, Shadow Phoenix b Champagne Pyro & Ryan Eagles, A1GP open weight championship: Sean O’Shea b Justin Cross

Friday, February 15, 2008

PWI Top 500 2007 Tourney...for God's sake let it END!!

THIS damn Gold Belt Wrestling computer is blowing smoke out the back and I think it's gonna blow soon, so let's wrap up this tourney quick-fast.

Round three led to some big upsets (surprise, surprise). Batista? Gone. Randy Orton? Gone. The Undertaker? Fuckin' gooooooone, mate!

Which led to this round four draw:

ROUND FOUR: Franky The Mobster (397) vs Shuji Kondo (225), Brent Albright (63) vs Jay “Black Machismo” Lethal (95), Mistico (3) vs Toshiaki Kawada (99), Milano Collection AT (61) vs Matt Hardy (36), Mohammed Yone (197) vs Chris Sabin (28), Akira Taue (251) vs Negro Casas (38), Ares (122) vs Erick Stevens (231), Toscano (121) vs Hiroshi Tanahashi (40), John Morrison (56) vs El Sagrado (233), Brother Ray (74) vs CM Punk (42), Ultimo Guerrero (11) vs LA Parka (43), Averno (53) vs Gregory Helms (44), Danny Doring (205) vs Mr Aguila (109), Dos Caras Jr (115) vs Chavo Guerrero Jr (46), Atlantis (79) vs Booker T (18), Mitsuharu Misawa (16) vs Hiroyoshi Tenzan (81)

OKAY. Round four saw Franky The Mobster hang in for another hard-fought win, while other more talented souls...LOST, including Kawada, CM Punk, Misawa and a bunch of others.

ROUND FIVE: Franky The Mobster (397) vs Hiroyoshi Tenzan (81), Jay “Black Machismo” Lethal (95) vs Booker T (18), Mistico (3) vs Chavo Guerrero Jr, Milano Collection AT (61) vs Mr Aguila (109), Mohammed Yone (197) vs Gregory Helms (44), Negro Casas (38) vs Ultimo Guerrero (11), Ares (122) vs Brother Ray (74), Hiroshi Tanahashi (40) vs John Morrison (56)

SOMEHOW, Franky continued to survive, landing a QF spot with ECW tag team title-holder John Morrison. X Division champ and Randy Savage knock-off Jay Lethal won and drew Mexico's Ares. Lucha legends Mistico and Negro were headed for a showdown, and in the final QF, luchadore Mr Aguila would face NOAh tag champ Mohammed Yone.

QUARTER-FINALS: Franky The Mobster (397) vs John Morrison (56), Jay “Black Machismo” Lethal (95) vs Ares (122), Mistico (3) vs Negro Casas (38), Mr Aguila (109) vs Mohammed Yone (197)

FOR the semis, it'd be the battle of tag champs, Morrison vs Yone, and another lucha war between Ares and Casas.

SEMI-FINALS: John Morrison (56) vs Mohammed Yone (197), Ares (122) vs Negro Casas (38)

AND the best 2-out-of-3 falls final boiled down to Morrison vs Ares. Er...right.

FINAL: John Morrison (56) vs Ares (122)

AND the overall winner of this longwinded, pointless tourney and the best wrestler of 2007 was and is................

John Morrison!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fuck me. How embarrassing.
I'm gonna throw that bloody computer in the bin.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

This is Brody and Hansen. THIS is muthafuckin' wrestling!!!

With thanks to :D

Monday, February 04, 2008

This is wrestling...THIS is LuFisto!

See the greatness of LuFisto at