Thursday, July 09, 2015

WWCBD? ep. 37: "The Top 200 Aussie Wrestlers for 2015"

The top three Aussie wrestlers going today: Jonah Rock, Shane Haste and Mikey Nicholls. 

IN WHICH Lord Mark Williamson and Dann Lennard discuss the passing of Dusty Rhodes and talk passionately about the greatness of the American Dream, and the joys of being bribed with SCOTCH, and then we get into the meat of the podcast: THE TOP 200 AUSSIE WRESTLERS FOR 2015, including our Top 20 Best Wrestlers and the FIVE WORST WRESTLERS (who inexplicably get listed as No. 196-200...even though there are clearly more than 200 wrestlers in this country. Don't question us. This is how we ROLL, sports fans.)


What this Top 200 is ALL about, sports fans...

DISCLAIMER: If you are NOT listed in our Top 200 it's for THREE reasons:
1. We forgot about you or weren't aware you existed. Sorry.
2. You're severely injured, retired or dead. Sorry.
3. You're so fucking shit you don't even deserve a mention. Get over yourselves.

The podcast can be found HERE.

And now, without much further ado...here it is.

TOP 200 for 2015
All comments in ITALICS by Dann 


1.-2. TMDK (Shane Haste & Mikey Nicholls)
3. Jonah Rock
4. “Jag” Hartley Jackson
5. KrackerJak
6. Adam Brooks
7. Tyson Gibbs
8. Buddy Murphy
9. Australian Suicide
10. Carlo Cannon
11. Elliott Sexton
12. Mr Juicy
13. Shazza McKenzie
14. Damian Slater
15. Davis Storm
16. Dowie James
17. AJ Istria
18. Chris Vice
19. Chris Basso
20. Ethan Hughz
------------------------------
21. Robbie Eagles
22. Mick Moretti
23. Kijimuna
24. Ladybeard
25. Marcius Pitt
26. KC Cassidy
27. Jesse McKay
28. Emma
29. Matt “Grimm” Basso
30. Alex Kingston
31. Mike Burr
32. Jay Andrews
33. Josh Shooter
34. Rufio
35. Kellyanne English
36. Kellie Skater
37. Mikey Broderick
38. Nick Armstrong
39. Enforcer
40. JXT
41. Robby Heart
42. Mad Dog McCrea
43. Havok
44. Chris Trance
We love his “workrate” in and out (and in and out and in and out...) of the ring. Good stuff, fella!
45. The Warship
46. Dean Draven
47. Brodie Marshall
48. Kelso Kahoniz
49. Brad Smyth
50. Vixsin
The only person on this list who let me kiss her gash. That earns Vixsin a top 50 spot right there!
51. Gladiator Apollo
52. Pat Graham
53. Sean Kustom
54. “Gorgeous” Greg Graham
55. Joey Graham
56. Madison Eagles
57. Hayden Zenith
58. Bishop Sommers
59. Ryan Eagles
60. Demi Bennett
61. Wayne “The Maniac” Mattei
62. Bee Boy
63. Alex Titan
64. Slade Mercer
65. Marvel
66. Anarchy
67. Savannah Summers
68. Link Barnett
69. Wreckin’ Ball Wilson
70. Cletus
71.-72. World's Friendliest Tag Team (Lochy&TD)
73. Daniel Swagger
74. Mickey Jackson
75. Matt Bailey
76. Chet Jacobs
77. Jarrad Slate
78. Hughsey
79. Dean Brady
80. Gabriel Wolfe
81. Jake Nova
82. Siren Monroe
83. Luke Knight
84. Mr Exclusive
85. Johnny Lukas
86. Braithe Priest
87. Crofty
88. Whatever the fuck Lightning Luke calls himself nowadays
89. Tre
90. Australian Wolverine
91. Michelle K. Hasluck
92. Blue Oni
93. “Pitbull” Craig Cole
94. Chris Trio
95. Harley Wonderland
96. Gavin McGavin
97. “Mad” Mike Massive
98. Syd Parker
99. Jay Taylor
100. Benny Factor
101. Alberto Bravo
102. Matt Rogers
103. Corruption
104. Green S.M.A.S.H
105. Massive Q
106. Koi Bombora
107. Brian “Heat” Seeker
108. Super Cyclone/Josh Haze
109. “The Don” Michael Morleone
110. Mikey Lord
111. Keegan
112. Scotty Ryan
113. Jagger Stevens
114. The Choff
115. Karlos Aries
116. BJ Blade
117. Dan Moore
118. Liam Mendel
119. MANtis
120. Toni Storm
121. “The Crazy Croatian” John E. Radic
122. Cadman
123. Eddie Jones
124. Bai Long
125. Battle Toad
Not THE Toad, obviously.
126. Trikki
127. Jade Diamond
128. Mike Boomer
129. Felix Young
130. Blair Alexis
131. Anthony Dangerfield
132. Ricky Rembrandt
133. Emanuelle
134. Rip Rielly
135. Dan Steel
136. Tome Filip
137. Mat Diamond
138. Sara Jay
For her ring outfit alone. :P
139. Mark Kage
140. Kyote
141. Kobra Jones
142. Spaceman Dacey
143. Aaron O’Malley
144. Bohdi McKenzie
145. His Royal Tenis
146. Kaha Edmonds
147. Tower Of Power
148. Lucas Gold
149. Savage Ultra Lion
150. Zach Archer
151. Beau Sayer
152. Cousin Ali
153. Fury
154. Jordan Bishop
155. TNT
156. Samoan Warrior
157. Big Fudge
158.-159. The Floozies
Two chicks with real potential who are getting some good training up at Newcastle Pro. Big things ahead of them (no pun intended).
160. Zac Douglas
161. Cody Swift
162. Vinnie Vain
163. InstaGraham
164. “Birdman” Phil Picasso
For going above and beyond when he was tarred and feathered after a recent IWA bout.
165. Diego Del Fuego
166. Lynx Lewis Jr
167. Renegade
168. Tarlee
169. Tukahe
170. Hudson Kai
171. David Nero
172. Rachel Rose
173. Jack O’Lantern
174. Diablo
175. Combat Wombat
The best name in Aussie wrestling by far.
176. Kira Sommers
Leather chaps! Holy mother of God! Yes!
177. Rhys Youngblood
178. Chris Hermes
179. JT Robinson
180. Randall
181. “Superstar” Bill Dundee
He may be 102 years old but he could still out-work 95% of the wrestlers in this country. Fact.
182. The Cure I
183. The Cure II
Disappointingly, neither of them are doing a Goth gimmick.
184. Rainbro
185. Psykotic
A giant of a man (not literally) who has worked every single wrestler, commentator, journalist and fan in this country. Well played, sir, well played.
186. Achilles
187. Bruza
No, for the last time, I DON’T want to be your Facebook friend!
188. Niki Nitro
189. Tommy Hellfire
190. Hunter S. Hayes
A guy with no charisma and moderate in-ring talent assumes the surname and persona of a legend that NO-ONE UNDER THE AGE OF FORTY will know. And you STILL have no charisma, mate.
191. Big Bad Nick
192. Masked Mauler
193. Jack Bonza
PWA Sydney’s heavyweight champion. A very good worker and a great heel. Also doing very good things at Newcastle Pro as both a worker and trainer. Wait...why is he at No. 193?
194. Adam Hoffman
Another very good worker and part of the most dominant faction in Sydney wrestling, The Four Nations. Hang on...this doesn’t seem right Adam being at No. 194...
195. Concrete Davidson
Hands down the best gimmick in Aussie wrestling. Dann is always entertained by Concrete’s 19th century strongman shtick. And he’s a nice guy to boot..............WTF? How is he at No. 195?
How is any of these guys THIS LOW in our list? Shit....it’s almost as if someone BRIBED us with scotch to put these three talented performers so low as a RIB. And we did.
Because we are WHORES FOR SCOTCH.
---------------------------------------
196. Kandi Luv
197. Big T
198. Shane Saw
199. Whiskey Sixx
200. Andrew “Shark” Carter
Just a quick comment about No. 200. I was loathe to put an AAW “wrestler” in the list as I don’t regard AAW as anything other than a vanity backyard group funded by
Big Daddy Shark and a bunch of deluded, poorly trained marks who PAY Shark to wrestle overseas guys brought in by these rubes to appear on their shitty shows in West Oz.
But Shark finally did enough this year to earn a guernsey by
1. Changing his name legally to “Shark”
2. Telling bemused interstate wrestlers that he’ll only wrestle over here for $500 “because I’m worth it”. BWAH-hahahahhahaha; AND
3. For being part of the WORST Aussie feud of this century: an agonisingly dull, worked shoot with a doofus called Joey Angel. Terrible stuff.


Quality ring attire, whether it be the shortest of shorty shorts...


...or leather chaps will get you into our Top 200.


Congrats to the first-ever AAW backyarder to score a guernsey in our list. Say hi to the Shittest of Shit Kents: No. 200 Andrew "Shark" Carter. CLAP...CLAP...CLAP...