Monday, March 20, 2017

KISS AND MAKE-UP (a review of IWA's RumbleRock2 @ 99 On York, Sydney (Friday, March 17)


IWA’s “RumbleRock 2” last Friday night at 99 On York in Sydney's CBD was a fun wrestling card coupled with performances by Kissteria, the fattest KISS tribute band in history.
Of greater importance, however, was the fact that this was the final gathering of the Poor Horsemen for possibly a long time. With Ric and Arn having relocated to sunny Melbourne, leaving Tully and Ole behind in Sydney, it would seem the Horsemen are no more, so RumbleRock 2 was our last hurrah...for the time being.
Fuelled by two exquisite-but-lethal cocktails known as Toffee Apples, I headed into the sold-out 99 On York Arena for some RASSLIN’!
Trans-Tasman champ Paris De Silva retained over Kai Drake in the short’n’sharp opening bout. The low ceiling made top-rope spots difficult, so this was far less high flying than you’d expect from these two guys. Still, a perfectly fine way to kick off the show.
The six-man tables match was a cluster-fuck (as you’d expect), but most of the tables behaved the way they were supposed to and the good guys won, so the crowd were happy. I was particularly impressed by newcomer Jackson Kelly. He has size, moves well and he clearly has the gift of the gab. This rookie could be going places and I look forward to seeing how he fares in singles competition.
I headed out during Kissteria’s first performance to catch up with friends and score a free beer from some chick offering us free beers. How could I refuse her generous offer?
I came back part-way through the hair vs hair match between Josh Gatt and Keegan Brettle.
Gatt, who is a tank but was inexplicably the face in this contest, defeated the smaller Keegan, but then got beaten up and had bits of HIS OWN HAIR CUT due to interference from commentator Jackson Johnson. It was a weird heel turn that didn’t work for me. Then again the dynamics of the whole match didn’t work.
Normally, I’d also complain about a promotion that stiffs the crowd out of a match stipulation, but as Australia has virtually no hair vs hair match history to destroy, I don’t think anyone gave a shit. Anyway, this was easily the weakest bout on the show.
Caveman Ugg defeated Turkish Delight after a power move onto a dildo. Not really sure what I can add after that. The bout was weird, crude, there was far too much man-on-man kissing and man-on-dildo mouth action, but the crowd enjoyed it. And there was even a post-bout run-in by Salem as he again put the boots to young Mehmet.
The main event was a very entertaining “first blood” contest between “brothers” Robbie Eagles and Ryan Eagles. Despite bleeding first, Robbie won after hiding his cut under his bandana, and making Ryan juice after a wrench shot.
It was a bit strange to see heels go over in the last two bouts, but I’m sure that was a long-term strategy, building up feuds for coming events.
Kissteria reemerged after seemingly scoffing everything in the dining room to deliver more KISS covers at a reasonable volume so as not to disturb the club’s neighbours. Very thoughtful of them.
That was my cue to leave and hang out with the Poor Horsemen some more. #scotch
All in all, a very enjoyable “adults only” show that probably didn’t need commentary. In fact, dumping the commentators from future RumbleRocks would probably help IWA further differentiate them from their regular “family-friendly” shows. Just a thought.
As for the Poor Horsemen...like the South, we shall rise again.

RESULTS: Tran-Tasman Title: Paris De Silva b Kai Drake; Tables Match: Apollo, Randal and “Cowboy” Chris Abbott b Jackson Kelly, Matt Bailey and Alex Titan (w/- Lord Mark Williamson); Hair vs Hair: Josh Gatt b Keegan Brettle; Caveman Ugg b Turkish Delight; First Blood: Robbie Eagles b Ryan Eagles


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